I turned 40 years old on March 3rd, 2021, looking back at my life thus far made me reflect on this roller coaster ride that we all call life. I can vividly remember being 18 years old and being completely lost after graduating high school. I had no idea who I was, nor who I wanted to become. I was working full-time making decent money in sales but still had no idea what my calling or passion was in life. I remember working full time and working out at the local gym after the long workday in the office. I use to meet up with one of my best friends Michael (Panza) at the local gym 5 to 6 days a week. I remember it being shoulder day, while I was preparing to do my shoulder set by the dumbbells, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a workout magazine open on the floor. The magazine was opened to an advertisement spread for the United States Air Force. I picked it up, read it to myself, and then turned and asked Micheal, “Would you ever join the Air Force” he was like, “yeah why not?”. That week we went to speak to a recruiter, looking back now, I can honestly say that moment in time, that small 1-minute interaction with a United States Air Force ad in a magazine change my life forever. That was 2003, fast forward to 2021 and here I am today living my dream. Was it as easy as it looked?
It’s difficult to put into words the experiences and sacrifices that I have lived through the last 17 years of life, but rest assured in knowing that it was all worth it to be here today. I enlisted into the Air Force in 2003 and lived overseas in Europe for 4 years while serving. I deployed to Afghanistan a couple of times, volunteered to go back to Afghanistan out of cycle, missed birthdays, missed thanksgiving’s, missed Christmas, missed being there for my family after the passing of my mother, missed graduations, etc. Those moments in time that I unfortunately missed, I will never get back and that is something that I must live with. I loved firefighting while in the Air Force but found my passion for medicine when I became an emergency medical technician (EMT) while deployed in Afghanistan. The entire process of my mother’s illness and eventually passing in January 2005 planted a seed in me that was watered every time that I interacted with a civilian patient, wounded airman, soldier, marine, or seaman. An empty void that I didn’t even know existed was filled by my newly found passion. My passion was serving, and I knew that I wanted to give back to the medical needs of others.
I separated honorably from the Air Force in 2008, I moved back to Florida because I wanted to be closer to home where my family was living in Miami because I had already missed 4 years of family and friend time while serving overseas. I was fortunate to find a job working civil service as an EMT Firefighter at Patrick Air Force base only a few hours away from home. I was now 2 hours and 30 mins away from home instead of being on the other side of the Atlantic ocean. I started my job in August of 2008, and signed up for paramedic school in October of 2008. My free time on my days off was now consumed with studying while still working 72 hour work weeks at the fire department. Was it as easy as it looked?
I graduated from Paramedic school in 2011 and eventually got promoted at my job. The seed which was planted by my mother’s illness continued to be watered with every patient interaction. Immediately after graduating from paramedic school, I figured I would try college once again after practically failing out in my first attempt straight out of high school. I was still working 72 hour work weeks, but now was also taking 12 to 15 credit hour college courses on my days off. My free time was now consumed by books, lectures, and homework. I eventually graduated with honors but didn’t walk for graduation because I wanted to walk for my bachelor’s degree. Was it as easy as it looked?
I graduated with my associate in science and associates in arts and now was faced with another difficult decision. I wanted to purse my bachelor’s degree with hopes to eventually getting into medical school but the nearest university was the University of Central Florida, an hour away from my home. After some self-talk and planning, I applied, was accepted into UCF and commuted an hour there and an hour back while taking a full college course load and still working 72 hour work weeks at Patrick Air Force base fire department. My free time was now consumed by books, lectures, homework, and a two-hour commute on my days off from the fire department. I graduated from The University of Central Florida with honors, didn’t walk because I wanted to walk when I got my master’s degree. Was it as easy as it looked?
Immediately after graduating, I signed up to take my GRE and MCAT, my free time was now consumed with books upon books. I didn’t know what route I was going to take but knew that I wanted to pursue medicine. I took the exams and now my free time was spent filling out medical school applications and figuring out the next step in my life. Was it as easy as it looked?
I was accepted into Florida State University College of Medicine and started in August of 2018. I completely resigned from the Fire Department, left a 13 year pension, and now moved my life away from my family and friends once again. I rented out my 2,400 square foot home and moved into a tiny 425 square foot studio. My free time was now consumed with books, lectures, homework, and studying like I have never studied before. I would wake up at 3 am to be on campus by 4 am to study before classes at 8 am. I finished my didactic year up in Tallahassee and now moved back to the east coast of Florida to Port Saint Lucie in December 2019. The Covid-19 pandemic hit the U.S. in March of 2020, at the start of our clinical rotation year. We were pulled from rotations but luckily still graduated on time in December of 2020. The FSU College of Medicine live in-person graduation ceremony was canceled because of COVID-19, we had a virtual graduation instead. After postponing every other graduation walk, I never got to walk across a stage for any of my degrees. Was it as easy as it looked?
I share these stories so others can rationalize on what it takes to chase a dream while risking everything, in my case a 13-year career and a pension that I left on the table. My journey here today has been challenging but looking back in time, it was all worth it. As much as I can try to describe the ups and much more downs in life, I am grateful for the opportunities along the way. The opportunities weren’t dressed up as gifts with gigantic beautiful red bows, instead, they were Pandora boxes filled with sacrifices, loneliness, missed family and friend gatherings, missed vacations, missed birthdays, missed holidays, and tested and failed relationships.
Was it as easy as it looked? No, it was not, was it worth it and would I do it all over again, Absolutely.
Head Up, Eyes Forward!!
